“On the subject of raising children, Ali ibn Abi Taalib (RA) said:
“Play with them for the primary 7 years of their life, then train them for the following 7 years; after which lastly advise them for the following 7 years afterwards .”
*First 7 Years
In the first 7 years, your goal is to build a strong connection with your child. This is the foundation, the base from which your relationship with them grows. If this rock is solid, the remaining years will be much easier. If this foundation forms poorly, the next years will be more challenging.
If you have young children, this (first 7 years) is the time to roll up your sleeves and invest, heavily, in yours and their future. In fact, you will be rewarded for all the righteous progeny that survives you, not just children, until the Day of Judgement.
*Next 7 Years
Once children reach 7, they are ready to learn. This is the time they are sponges, ready to soak up anything and everything you tell them, teach them, show them, and do in front of them. If you built that solid foundation in ages 0-7, they are now more than willing and happy to learn from you.
This is the time to teach them everything — aqeedah, halaal and haraam, fiqh, all the things they need to know to survive throughout their life. Qur’an and seerah are also very important; as one prominent tabi’een said, “we learned seerah (frequently and in details) from our parents the way we learned Qur’an.”
Teach them sports too, Rasulullah (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “Teach your children Swimming, Archery and Horseback riding.” They gain many benefits from it, including physical health, studying teamwork, and sportsmanship.
*The Final 7 Years
Once your kids hit 14, they’re in all probability already mukallaf (full adults Islamically, and accountable for his or her actions) — this occurs at puberty, or at age 15 on the newest.
At this age, you might be largely out of the image. Children obtain independence; their personalities manifest; they give the impression of being extra to their friends than their dad and mom and households. During these essential years, befriend them, advise them, and do what you may; perceive that they’re now full adults, and the alternatives are theirs to make, proper or incorrect.
If you labored laborious over the past two intervals of seven years, you’ll already be that trusted confidant, that advisor, that go-to particular person once they need assistance or recommendation. Be a part of their lives, and advise them as finest you may.
