Before you complain about your spouse’s flaws, remember the times when marrying them was your only wish and your number one prayer point. Remember the day you declared that you loved him/her more than anyone else. Remember the day she vacated her father’s house just to be with you. Remember the day he paid a huge price in exchange for your consent. Remember the swoonsome nights you spent together. Remember the days you couldn’t sleep until you cuddled snugly beside him/her…
Remember to give excuses and show love and mercy. Remember to choose patience over anger, and forgiveness over revenge. Remember that you are garments for each other. Don’t be too quick to expose each other’s flaws. Don’t rush to report their bad manners to family or friends.
As long as your spouse doesn’t compromise the deen, or commit a major act of transgression, shield him/her from public ridicule. Talk. Admonish. Preach with wisdom. Lead by example. Pray. Help each other in birr and taqwah. Pray again.
Remember that no one is above mistakes and no one is beyond repentance. Remember that if you expose them cheaply, you may never regain their dignity and trust, even for a mountain full of gold.
“O you who believe! Verily, among your wives and your children there are enemies for you (i.e. may stop you from the obedience of Allāh), therefore beware of them! But if you pardon (them) and overlook, and forgive (their faults), then verily, Allāh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Qur’an chapter 64 verse 14)
