Salam Alaykum. I copied this from a fbk group on polygamy. I discovered the content material fairly an expository and information on polygamy than a condemnation. And I really feel it is value sharing. Read alongside:
NIGERIAN MUSLIMS AND ABUSE OF POLYGAMY
Nowadays, the speed at which Muslim males abuse the apply of polygamy (polygyny) is probably going unprecedented in historical past. In Northern Nigeria, polygamy has turn into extra of customary apply than a socio-religious duty. Many Muslims in Yorubaland who subscribe to plural marriages are equally abusing this proper. And sadly sufficient, this pattern of abuse doesn’t exclude a number of followers of Sunnah. But what went improper and the place lies the best way out?
To begin with, Islamic Scholars have laid down a golden precept which states: “It is forbidden for anyone to engage in any activity until he or she knows about its ruling.” Thus, earlier than a Muslim performs Salat, Sawm, Umrah, Hajj, and many others., she or he should study the rulings pertaining to those acts of worship. This helps to keep away from damaging errors which can render the worship fruitless. Similarly, all mundane affairs together with enterprise transactions and social relationships are additionally regulated by Islamic requirements. Any try to contravene such requirements routinely ends in abuse and sins.
In Islam, marriage is a authorized contract that’s established based mostly on sure necessities and circumstances. If a requirement is lacking or a situation is violated, the purpose of the conjugal relationship (i.e love, enjoyment, and mercy) might turn into compromised, thereby resulting in extra evils than advantages.
Conditions of Polygamy
Basically, the circumstances which apply to marrying one spouse equally apply to marrying a number of wives, besides that extra spouse(s) necessitates extra necessities. As they are saying: _”more honour comes with more responsibility.”_ For occasion, a monogamous man who struggles to fulfill his single spouse sexually is prohibited from marrying extra. Likewise, a person who can hardly preserve one spouse (by way of feeding, clothes, and lodging) will not be certified so as to add extras on account of financial challenges. Therefore, sexual and financial capabilities are the 2 minimal necessities for any man who seeks to marry a number of spouse(s).
In a well-liked Hadith, the Prophet addressed the youths, saying: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him.” (al-Bukhaari, 5066)
From the Hadith cited above, the students of Fiqh (Islamic Jurisprudence) have derived the ruling of marriage to be Mustahaab (extremely inspired Sunnah), significantly when a person is ready to help the means. On the opposite hand, marriage is taken into account Makrooh (detestable) for anybody who’s incapable of supporting the monetary means besides in sure cases.
In addition, marriage turns into obligatory if a person is near committing Zina whereas having the ability to help a wedding. To emphasize the truth that monetary functionality can’t be ignored with respect to marriage, Allah says in Surah An-Nur (24) verse 33; “And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste until Allah enriches them of His Bounty.”
A person who does not possess the Nisab for Zakat will not be entitled to offer Zakat, the identical approach a person who lacks affordable monetary means is actually not certified to take a spouse or add extras (because the case could also be). Today, many individuals have taken this issue without any consideration, giving it little or no concern.
Other necessary necessities embody knowledge and piety.
These two standards help in sustaining equity and fairness amongst co-wives.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (RadiyaLlahu anhu) that the Prophet (SallaLlahu alayhi was-Sallam) stated: “Whoever has two wives and favours one of them over the other, will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides leaning (i.e deformed).” Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (1141).
Based on this Hadith, Ibn Hazm (RahimahuLlahu) stated: “Treating co-wives equally is obligatory, most of all – sharing one’s nights between them.” (al-Muhalla, 9/175)
Thus, Allah advises: “If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then (marry) only one.” [Surah An-Nisa (4): 3]
Many married males usually fall into “accidental polygamy” because of careless interactions with single girls. They maintain eying the meals they can not purchase. What a pity! In the top, such males are tempted to decide on between adultery and unintended polygamy.
Worse nonetheless, there are males who merge co-wives in a single room or an house demarcated with curtains and plywood. I additionally know a person who used to share home bills along with his spouse, obliging her to cater for sanitary pads, child diapers, youngsters’s put on, medical payments, and many others. While on this situation, he went forward so as to add one other spouse. What occurred finally was; the 2 wives disappeared after two years. Please, what can we name this; insanity or stupidity or each?
Why should a person overburden himself in in search of depressing enjoyment when “Allah has not burdened any soul beyond his capacity”. [Surah Al-Baqarah (2): 286]
I additionally witnessed a tremendous state of affairs at Karu Local Govt. in Nasarawa State, the place I noticed an Almajiri (beggar) dwelling with two wives and youngsters in a ‘cellular house’. He strikes his household from one uncompleted constructing to a different at any time when the homeowners are able to pack-in. From that day, I believed Nigeria’s drawback is much past creativeness.
Conclusion:
Allowing males to marry as much as 4 wives is each rational and pure. In reality, polygamy stays one of the best resolution to sure wants and challenges. It is certainly an important favour to women and men alike.
Nevertheless, the incessant abuse of polygamy has culminated into a geometric increase of damaged properties, owing to implicit and express divorce instances. Perhaps we have to understand that monogamy is rarely a curse and polygamy should not be a ‘do or die’ affair. Therefore, we are saying: “What is worth doing at all is worth doing well.”
