My names are Dr Abdullah Oyekole Abu Haneefah *3 Star General*, some Don’t know the that means of this *3 star General* and thinks it is only a mere Nick title, it means I’ve 3 Wives earlier than age 25.
Why am I saying this?
But why did I resolve to direct my Discussion to the boys?
Are the ladies saints that they Don’t want advice and orientation on how to manage a house?
The reply is easy: *Most Marital Crises might have been averted in the event that they haven’t been brought on by the Men themselves!*
If you will have one spouse and also you need to search recommendation in your marital crises, it is advisable to hunt the recommendation of Someone with 2 wives or at the very least one spouse such as you however with extra expertise, if in case you have 2 wives and also you need to search recommendation, the best choice is to hunt from somebody with 3 wives or at the very least 2 wives such as you however with extra expertise, and the checklist goes up.
But for those who as a person with 2 wives seeks recommendation from a bachelor or a person with one spouse, more often than not, the recommendation is Disastrous.
So with the extent of expertise gathered over the course of years spent with completely different ladies, collectively and individually, I need to share some ideas with you that is likely to be the lacking Ingredient in your relationship that is making it looks like a *battle area
Husbands! Please let’s be honest with ourselves.
What precisely do you need to acquire in seeing her Cry?
What precisely is your acquire that she’s unhappy?
What will you get in return when your spouse See’s you and virtually die out of concern as if she sees a ghost?
Who’s paying you everytime you increase your fingers to beat your spouse?
it appears your wage will increase as your spouse’s sorrow will increase abi? And that is why you similar to to make the home scorching for her?
Cus I dont actually get it!
It’s as if there is a revenue, a facet incomes we get at any time when we frustrate life out of our wives.
Women might be so naughty!
They might be so Annoying!!
They might be so Fraustrating!
So gobestically constructed!!!
Yes! No one is doubting that, and that is why you as a person you’re appointed with the honourable job of guiding her affairs.
If you need a lady, however you Don’t need bother then the perfect lady you will get that will not provide you with bother are those on biscuit carton, cleaning soap cartons, drinks tin, and the likes, these ones will all the time be submissive, obedient, They would keep wherever you set them, and if you throw them within the bin, they’ll *Never ever Retaliate* just because they Don’t even *Exist within the first place*.
But in order for you a lady!
That fantastically created being, who’s meant to make life condusive and Liveable, then be prepared for *TROUBLE*!.
You need a lady and also you dont need bother please stay Single.
The noble prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) stated in a well-known narration.
ما تركت بعدي فتنة أشد أو أضر على الرجال من النساء.
(Bukhori and Muslim)
“I did not leave an affliction more severe upon the men, than the *WOMEN!*”
So with this Hadith, we’ve got been assured that there will definitely be some unavoidable afflictions that may befell the boys from the ladies.
So after figuring out this, an inexpensive man, ought to all the time search for methods to keep away from bother along with his spouse and never creating them.
Even although you possibly can’t Totally eradicate troubles and points in marriage as a result of _”Issues are Core part of marriage and marriage itself is an issue, you can’t stop being naughty, and she can’t stop being silly cus these are the core courses in the game of love”_
You can nonetheless efficiently deliver down the frequent stage of marital crises,
We males, We are Naturally Created with *Ego and Pride!*, created with the pure disposition that we should all the time be the lead, The commander in chief of girls forces, the Alpha and Omega of our Territory,
Yes! We all have these trait in us!
But the issue is that we’re not able to compromise this Natural Traits for the betterment of our Marriage,
we’re not able to drop our *EGO* and *PRIDE* to place a Big smile on our Wives faces.
This is the actual reason for the issue.
What will it value you to place a smile in your spouse’s face?
What will it value you to assist her with the home chores?
What will it value you to inform her each morning *I really like you?*
What will it value you to miss her shortcomings and deal with her optimistic sides?
What will it value you to take her as a gisting accomplice as an alternative of going out early within the morning and coming again very late at evening?
What will it value you to assist her wash a few of her garments, together with her lingerie?
What will it value you to spend on her to the perfect of your potential?
What will it value you to be the identical man you employ to be earlier than marriage?
That sugar coated tongued man that may use mouth to create a pathway on ocean!
What will it value you to do something to make you spouse blissful?
Wait! Don’t you need peace of thoughts?
Are you scared your mates will make enjoyable of you and abuse you that you’re not manly sufficient?
Are you scared folks will make enjoyable of you and declare you will have been charmed by her? (Oti jefo)
Owk! You thought if you paid bride worth you will have purchased a brand new slave abi?
What precisely is your Argument for not contemplating your spouse’s happiness as a part of your day by day routine and compulsory tasks?
Yes! We all know ladies might be very annoying typically!
Yes we all know their Advices and Suggestions can typically be bizarre!
Yes! We know they could typically be very myopic and tends to see issues very otherwise from the way in which we do.
Sometimes you discuss to them about *ABC* they reply with *XYZ*!
We know these belongings you additionally know and we’ve got additionally expertise these issues you will have skilled!
But Don’t overlook that this *Being* are very Emotional beings that may break down on the onset of the slightest crises.
Don’t reside with a lady as if you’re dwelling with a *MAN*
We are very completely different!
Emotionally completely different
Psychologically completely different
Physically completely different
Logically completely different
Don’t reside along with your spouse as if she’s your room mate in class!
This is a *WOMAN!* a really fragile and delicate being.
The noble prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) stated in a narration
*” _Be easy with these pearls(Delicate beings)_”*
He refers back to the ladies as a really fragile being that may break if not dealt with with care.
You dont must allow you to good friend know you wash your wives Clothes sometimes!
If they Don’t know they can not make enjoyable of you!
You dont want to inform them you assist your spouse do the dishes!
If your purpose for being laborious and harsh in your spouse is due to what the society will say, then it appears you aren’t able to reside in *Absolute Peace!*
Some males thinks that when they’re strict and inflexible, this earns them Respect earlier than their ladies!
Let me let you know the reality! She will hate you want shit!
If your spouse isn’t free earlier than you and talks to you as if she’s addressing a tyrant ruler, then my brother, you aren’t having fun with ooooo! Wallahi you’re struggling and being disadvantaged of all *Goodness!*
Your spouse is your good friend!
Your spouse is your Soul mate!
Your spouse is your Helper!
Your spouse is the shoulder you fall on when issues will not be going tremendous!
She’s the fingers you maintain excessive when issues are going clean!
My fellow Responsible Members of the Society!
If we will subdue this Ego of ours and produce down our wings for our wives to fly together with us, marriage would have been a greater place than it’s as we speak!
High Sense of Humor!
Feeling of safety!
And all different Praise worthy acts are what makes marriage fulfil it is divine Purpose which is to be a supply of *Tranquility, Love and Mercy!*
Following this Advices and Recommendations doesn’t deprive you of your manliness!
It solely reveals you will have the power to Rule in all conditions!
It reveals you’re Considerate along with your topics!
It reveals you’re The Real Man!
A person that may put A lifetime smile on a lady
Be good to your lady!
I can not enable you to try this!
Only you are able to do that your self!
I will not preach what I dont observe!
It’s all very practicable!
Be the loving man she all the time needed!
The caring man!
The playful man!
Her good friend and gist accomplice!
Let her let you know how her coronary heart virtually bump out when she noticed coackroach in her sneakers,
Laugh and smile as for those who have been giving cash!
Don’t be too inflexible, you’re driving your self to hypertension!
I want to proceed however my lady wants me!!
Oya stand up and go and meet your lady!..
Tell her you like her!..
Tell her she means a lot to you!
Tell her she fills an area in your coronary heart!
Tell her the puzzle in your coronary heart has been solved if you met her!
Tell her she’s the perfect reward ever to you!
Play together with her cheeks!
Let her see a unique you!
Let her be blissful she made the choice to marry you amidst different Suitable Men that proposed to her!
*I’m dropping my Pad right here, Yoruba will say “½ a word is enough for the Omoluabi, when it get inside of him, it will become Odindin!”*
Don’t simply be a reader! Be a practicer of what you learn!
And Don’t be shy to unfold the message!..
You is likely to be saving a wedding!..
The Criterion Cares