I was told the story of a man somewhere in Kano who is a trader. He has a car and a Haojue motorcycle. His business requires him to enter nukes and cranies to meet customers, so most times he uses his motorcycle, while his wife uses his car to go wherever she wants to. Trust nosy members of the community to call him all sorts of names and mock him. How can your wife be driving your car while you are riding a motorcycle? ai an saka shi a kwalba (he has been bottled – bewitched) blah blah blah.
Hausas will say “ko a jikin sa”! The man felt nothing about their rhetorics and just faced his life, we all need such kinds of emotional resistance to external influence when it comes to our marriage. He knew his motorcycle was most suitable for his business and understood the need for his wife to be given as much comfort as he can afford. We men are the ones built for ruggedness, women are delicate and require the niceties of life.
You will think you are responsible till you see or hear what some men do just to provide comfort to their wives within their capacity and you will realise you still have a long way to go. But it is important you keep such people as friends and look for such stories. If all you hang around are men who just drop ‘something’ for the wife every month and leave her to go fend for herself you will start feeling like the best husband on earth for every little extra you do for your family.
That’s why once I know you have little regard for women and do not treat your wife well, I run far away from you. If a Dog befriends a Goat, it is either the Dog learns to eat grass or the Goat learns to eat shit!