Dear good friend, I regretted being given beginning to. I regretted being a pupil. I regretted being a feminine. I felt like committing suicide however I could not. I’ve nobody to share my expertise with. Who will I inform what was occurring to me? Who will maintain the key of my sexual relationship with an unseen person.
Actually, I went dwelling to tell my mum what I used to be experiencing however I did not have the braveness of expressing myself to her after I met her. Despite the truth that melancholy was boldly written on face, my mum was simply busy asking me about my educational pursuit and stored requesting me to do home choirs for her. I used to be simply hopeful that the state of affairs could be over quickly.
I additionally tried to debate the difficulty systematically with Sister Kitaabah by asking her that “Is it okay for a woman to sleep and have dream of mating a man he did not know earlier than?” Sister Kitaabah response was affirmative. She stated that it’s a signal that the woman is reaching her puberty stage. I obtained confused however I could not ask additional. I simply raised one other dialogue.
When 200 stage outcomes was launched, my G.P. grossly dropped. When I obtained dwelling and confirmed it to my dad, he was additionally disturbed. He requested me what prompted the poor G.P. Hmm…, my mouth was sealed and my eyes began pouring water. The water referred to as tears was completed with unhappy voice. May Allah reward my father abundantly. He is a person worthy to be referred to as true father, a job mannequin, a psychologist and a instructor. My father positioned the glass cup he was holding on the desk, he stood on his toes and got here to me. He hugged me tightly, not minding that I’ve grown up. He positioned my head on his chest and requested me what prompted the tears.
My mouth could not communicate but. My crying grew to become extra and the tears circulate extra from my eye balls. The crying has invited my youthful brother and sister to the sitting room. My mother remained on her seat, watching the drama. My dad realised that there was extra to my crying. He has to attract me to my bed room leaving different relations at seating room. He took me away the best way a bride is being taken to his groom, and I adopted her with out objecting. When we obtained to my room, my father began rendering my lineage reward. He went on for about 5 minutes with out cease. I did not know after I voiced out amidst tears:
“Dad, I am in trouble!!! I wish I have died before now…”
My expression shocked him however he pretended as if he wasn’t shocked. He tried to provide me confidence of talking out. He let me realised that solely after I say what’s bothering me I might be proffered resolution.
“Dad, it is too hard to say! I can’t tell anyone!” I stated once more amidst tears.
My dad stored mute for some seconds. He immediately communicate “Were, you raped? And you got pregnant? And it was aborted?”
“Dad!!! Did anyone tell you about what happened to me?” I requested
“No one tell me anything. All I know is that any problem you have is my problem. I fathered you and it is my duty to attend to all your challenges. So tell me what happened”.
My dad expression and tranquility gave me power to talk out. I defined to him what was occurring to me. He sighed closely and requested both I’ve inform anybody, however I advised him that I have never, that he’s the primary particular person I’ll inform. He begged me to not inform anyone, together with my mum and I promised him I will not. He advised me to placed on a smile. I did and we went again to sitting room.
Dear good friend, I have to confess to you, I began doubting both my mum gave beginning to me since then. Her response and perspective to my predicament disgusted me. When my dad and I returned to sitting room, she did not really feel wanting to know what occurred to me. All she stated was:
“Daddy and Daughter, you’ve gotten settled all the things behind us abi? O ti da!”
_To be continued_